The Vision
by Tarilenea
Summary: Sequel to Faith, rating just to be safe. Summary: After months of dreaming of a mysterious elf and his lover, Vanwa comes of age. The story of how Vanwa came to learn her true identity, and of how Haldir came to be healed.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Vision

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize as Tolkein's. Anything you don't recognize is probably mine.

A/N: A sequel to Faith. I havent really figured out where I'm going with this. This could turn into a full story, or just a series of one-shots (which is basically the same as a story, I guess, except a bit more open-ended haha). It could probably stand on its own, but if you haven't read Faith you might be a little confused. Anyway, it is what it is. Enjoy!

_ellon_ - male elf

ellyn - male elves

elleth - female elf

ellith - female elves

* * *

**The Vision**

_They were lying on the roof of his flet and staring up at the stars that just peaked through the thick branches and velvety leaves overhead. He had returned from the border to find she was not asleep in bed, and knew immediately where to find her. She was not surprised when he joined her, even though she hadn't heard him approach. She was expecting him. He sat down wordlessly and stretched out beside her, lacing his fingers together and resting them behind his head. _

_"You're awake," he remarked. She turned and smiled tenderly at him._

_"And you're in need of a bath" _

_He laughed, and she felt contentment wash over her at the sound of his rich voice. She returned her gaze to the stars overhead_

_"And here I was hoping you would be pleased to see me," he teased. He moved to get up again. "I shall bathe then, if it so pleases my lady."_

_She took his hand in hers as he sat up and looked at him sympathetically._

_"Stay. I've missed you. I wouldn't see you gone so soon."_

_He smiled lazily and returned to his position beside her. That sat in silence for some time before he turned to look at her again._

_"You are tired," he said. It was not a question, but rather a statement of what, even in the dim moonlight, he could easily discern._

_"I haven't been sleeping well," she admitted. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "You don't need to worry. It isn't anything important."_

_He rolled on his side, propping himself up on one elbow. With his other hand, he cupped her cheek softly._

_"I would know what keeps my love from sleeping soundly while I'm away." He waited patiently as she debated what to say next._

_"I have… I've had more dreams lately," she said evasively._

_"Not good ones, I presume," he stated. She sighed and looked away, a frown marring her features._

_"No." He waited for her to elaborate, but she did not._

_"What is it you dream of?"_

_"Dreams of the past." _

"_Those have not gone away?" he asked._

"_They had, at least for a while. The things I dream of now aren't as bad as they were at first. I seem to be past the worst of it." She paused, and for a moment he thought she might say more, but she did not._

"_These are not the dreams that give you trouble," he stated. She sighed. What she was about to say sounded absolutely crazy, even in her own head. There was no way to explain without it sounding like she was utterly delusional. _

_She hesitated before speaking again. _

"_There are some dreams that…I don't think are mine." Her frown deepened. "I know the others technically aren't either, but those at least have a tangible source. One I'm aware of. But these are different. They're from another person all together. Someone who feels completely unrelated to me." _

_She knew it sounded ridiculous to say such a thing, and now, having said it, she felt almost embarrassed to admit to being troubled by such a thing, particularly when considering the atrocities she'd faced in the past. Dreams that weren't her own. Ha! Of all the absurd things to say! Of course they were hers. Who else's could they be?_

_"Have you spoken with the Lady Galadriel?" he asked. She felt relieved that he did not laugh immediately. _

_"I have. She was cryptic as usual. She won't tell me what it is I'm seeing. She says they'll pass in time. It's part of… adjusting, or some other ridiculous thing like that."_

_"It would be my guess that 'ridiculous' things come with the territory…" he replied. "You cannot expect to assume the power you have with no consequences. History is too closely tied to your new abilities. It surprises me you don't have more dreams than you do."_

_"These are different," she said. "They have nothing to do with-" _

_She paused._

_"Well no, I won't say that," she corrected. "It doesn't _seem_ like they have anything to do with the other dreams I've had. They feel different." _

_And they did. The dreams she was used to were not nearly as tranquil. She would dream of battles in which she channeled unfathomable streams of power. The ground beneath her feet would tremble and the earth would lay scorched where she had stood. She could feel the soil between her toes turn to dust and see the frost begin to form in places where she'd drawn power too heavily. The sky would blacken and when she reached her limit, calling what she could just barely contain, a silence would follow. It was as though cotton blocked her ears, allowing the screeching and crashing sounds of battle to escape her. And from this center of calm, she could act as the breaker of armies. She was the eye of a terrible storm, an uncontrollable tempest. _

_The things she accomplished in those dreams! It was beyond anything she could have imagined on her own. And when her foes were vanquished, she would awaken to find her sheets burned to cinders. She would be quivering with barely contained energy, a power that felt as though it was boiling beneath her skin, ready to burst forth at any moment. For a time it was so bad that he dare not sleep with her at night. He would always awake to new burns along his arms and across his chest from laying too close. Eventually she took to sleeping on the floors out of pity for the poor elleth who made her bed linens. A large, blackened oval in the polish of the wood was the only scar left behind to show that anything had ever happened._

_These new dreams were different. They were peaceful and light. The sky was never dark. In fact, she could not recall ever seeing a more vibrant sky. The home she lived in was so unlike Lorien. He had built it for her, she knew. Her whole family, to be more exact, but she liked to imagine that it was crafted for her exclusively, that he had labored over every small detail to make it take a form he knew would be pleasing to her. She knew this was not true though, because he barely knew her in these dreams. When they first began to come to her, he knew nothing of her at all, and this was what upset her most._

_He stirred her from her thoughts_

"_Do you awake to any… surprises when you have these dreams?" he asked. She shook her head._

"_They aren't those kinds of dreams. The things I see are different. The places are different but, of this world I think. Everything is too untouched for it to be home."_

_He smiled ruefully._

"_I would hope that by now you consider Lorien to be home," he said. She smiled tenderly and reached up to touch his face._

"_You know I do, but I'll always think of where I came from as home as well. My first home anyway. And things there are so different and industrial. The place I'm dreaming of is somewhere in middle Earth, I just don't know when or where, and I don't recognize enough of the people to place when this is happening."_

"_How do you know it is happening at all?" he asked. "It's possible that this is no more than a dream. You know, the kind the undisturbed and untroubled have," he teased. She pursed her lips and scowled._

"_Shut up. Don't make fun of my maladjusted nature. I've started to expect every dream to have some kind of meaning these days. You would be just as disoriented if you saw all the things I do."_

"_Then tell me," he said. "Tell me what it is you see."_

_She sighed and looked away. There was a short silence before she began to speak._

_"Often I see you. I see you everywhere in these dreams, even when you aren't really there. It's as though I'm looking for you half the time, but I don't know it's you I'm looking for. And I see me" she added after a moment. "But, I'm not myself. I look different. I look like you actually," she said with a laugh._

_"Male?" he teased. She rolled her eyes._

_"No, elven. I think we're in Valinor. That's the only place I can think of that would make sense."_

"_Imladris perhaps? Or maybe Mirkwood," he suggested. She shook her head._

"_No, I've seen pictures of Imladris, and I've seen enough of Mirkwood to know that that's definitely not where I am in these dreams. The place isn't what worries me. What bothers me more is that I don't know you. Not at all. Half the time I don't even know your name. And you…"_

_She hesitated._

"_What?"_

"_You're reluctant to be near me. Sometimes you avoid me as though my presence pains you or reminds you too much of something else," she said with a puzzled frown. "And even if I don't wake up with my bits of my room on fire, I wake up just as miserable," she said. He smiled and lightly kissed her._

_"Then surely these dreams are of no significance, for how could being near you ever cause me pain?" he asked. "Especially when considering that being away causes me such grief."_

_She sighed and looked away._

_"I don't know. They feel real – real enough to confuse me anyway."_

_"Well," he began, "you needn't worry such things should ever come to pass. We may well go to Valinor some day, but I have no intention of parting from you, nor do I intend to let you forget me." He kissed her again, lingering this time._

_"Oh? And how would you go about ensuring such a thing?" she asked mischievously. He kissed her again._

_"Easily enough," he replied haughtily._

_"Not when you smell like an orc," she retorted, wrinkling her nose. His kiss was deep this time, and passionate. She did not push him away but welcomed his touch, pulling him closer to her. He laughed softly and briefly pulled back._

_"I knew you would not turn me away," he teased. He kissed her again, caressing her face lightly with one hand. Her belly tingled with a familiar warmth and she reached her arms up towards him, tangling her hands in his hair. His lips moved along the line of her jaw and then slowly down her neck. She pressed herself against him and pulled him back up to kiss her. Their kiss was passionate this time and filled with a hunger that had been fueled by their long separation. He deftly untied the fastenings on the back of her gown. The neckline dipped below her shoulders. He stripped off his tunic and his lips were upon her again – her lips, her cheek, her ears and neck. She ran her hands through his hair, along the broad span of his shoulders. A quick pull undid the lacings of his leggings. He wrenched up the skirts of her dress and -_

Vanwa awoke gasping. She pressed a hand to her heaving chest and was surprised to find she was bathed in sweat. Such vivid dreams she had been having! She'd now lost count of the number of times she had dreamt of the mysterious ellon. As always, she saw him through the woman's eyes, and as always, she wondered who he was. Who they both were, rather. Not once in any of her dreams had his name been spoken aloud, nor the woman's. Vanwa had easily surmised the two were lovers (for loving, as her mother called it, was all they ever seemed to be doing when she dreamed of them).

Usually her dreams took place in Lothlorien, though occasionally she found herself in places she could not identify. She presumed one location to be Imladris, though this assumption was based on rumors she had heard of how the Last Homely House once was. Other cities, she could not identify. They were too rustic, too unclean for elven lodgings, which only begged the question 'What in Arda were they doing there?'

The foreign woodlands they traveled to sparked her curiosity most. One dream looked suspiciously like Eryn Lasgalen, but then she had not actually been _inside_ these woods, only down the Old Road that passed through its heart. The forest she dreamed of was also much too dark and foreboding to be Eryn Lasgalen. The trees weren't as inviting, thrumming with what felt like rage, and the shadows seemed drawn to the elves passing through as though they sought to swallow them whole. She could only conclude that the place she dreamed of was far away from Eryn Lasgalen.

She toyed with the idea that she dreamed of another time, maybe even another age, but her knowledge of history was shoddy at best. She had not told her parents of these dreams yet, but she sensed questions were coming. She spent more and more time in Lothlorien's library reading anything she could get her hands on. Unfortunately, little had been written of the Third Age. What had been put down in writing did not cover the major war that unfolded, the war that no one would tell her about. The war brought the darker half of the Third Age to a close and marked the start of the Fourth Age. Unfortunately, it was this war that interested Vanwa, because she was certain her dreams were connected to it. The ellon and the woman spoke so frequently of some great impending doom that she could only assume the War of the Ring was what they were referring to.

Vanwa was twice unfortunate because not only was little yet written of it, but few wanted to discuss and remember it. The Lady Galadriel insisted that Vanwa could come to her with any questions she might have, but Vanwa thought her to be too intimidating, and she was sure she would make an annoyance of herself if she were to ask every single question she had. She was also sure that a full and complete explanation would take days upon days of explanation, and it was her finding thus far that few people had the patience to tell such a tale, and few tales were ever told so completely anyway. Most things – most _important _things – were left unsaid, and she suspected that this great war was a war of secrets and deception. All wars were wars of violence, but this one… Too much was left unsaid for it to be merely a war of principle and territory.

Her thoughts returned again to the mysterious ellon she dreamed of. What was his role in all of this? What made him so important that she dreamed of him almost constantly now? And more importantly, what was it about this woman that made Vanwa _always_ dream from her perspective? Vanwa puzzled at how it had come to pass that an ellon had taken a human woman to be his lover. She suspected there was something else to this woman, something that made her different. There were occasional allusions to something much larger that had happened. Something the young woman was capable of doing, something she was yet 'adjusting' to. Vanwa had briefly toyed with the idea that the woman was in fact a sorcerer of some kind, which would not make her a human but some other divine being. Was this what had caught the ellon's eye?

Though she was sure he was merely a dream, Vanwa already felt herself growing smitten with him, and growing dismayed that she was not some kind of sorceress. She felt incredibly foolish. He could not possibly exist. It was more likely he was some creation born of her newfound interest in ellyn. Her coming of age ceremony was no more than a month away, and in recent years she found that ellyn were no longer detestable at best, but rather appealing – exotic even. She, like other ellith her age, had taken to flirting and teasing and finding ways to make their gowns more revealing than what some might deem appropriate for ones their age. Her mother, noticing her daughter's change in behavior, had taken the time to awkwardly explain the process of intercourse to her. The conversation had been so uncomfortable, particularly given that Vanwa already knew the majority of what her mother told her. It seemed these days that all anyone spoke of was sex, having sex, and who had already experienced it for the first time. Vanwa had not yet found anyone who interested her in such a way. Perhaps she would find this ellon she dreamed of and then…

No.

She dismissed the thought at once. The idea was ridiculous, not to mention impossible. She was also fairly certain her parents would not approve of one who was clearly so much older than her. Dismayed, she realized that an ellon so old would consider her to be merely a child. How many centuries had he lived to see? She could not yet count her hundredth year in Lorien, though she comforted herself with the knowledge that at least tomorrow she would be able to consider herself an adult. Tomorrow was her Begetting Day, and fifty was better than nothing. Fifty was no longer a child. Fifty was also still much too young for so proud and strong a warrior as the one she dreamed of. No, even if she could find him, she was certain naught would come of it. They would be ill-suited from the start.

This made her indignant. She was quite mature. Remarkably mature, in fact. Wise beyond her years, some might say. The ellon she dreamed of would be lucky to have one such as her, and she had plenty to offer. She was an adequate seamstress, quite the cook now that she'd learned not to burn everything, and her archery was coming along nicely in her opinion. That would surely impress someone like him. He would help her improve, using his warrior's expertise, and when they were done at the practice fields they would return home to share a meal. At night, he would tell her of the things he'd seen and allow her to comfort him and ease is suffering, because surely he suffered greatly, and in a way that only she could allay.

Vanwa sighed dejectedly. This was absurd. Now she was blatantly fantasizing and making up falsehoods to boost her self esteem. No such ellon existed, and no such ellon would come to _her_ for comforting. She, who had barely seen anything of the world. Vanwa had only once been outside of Lothlorien, and was fool enough to think it made her worldly. Realistically, she was no more than a hatchling, deny it though she might, and no ellon would want _her _when they could have an elleth who was older than at least _some _of the saplings in the wood.

Vanwa rolled her eyes at her own foolishness. Now she was much too worked up to return to her reverie. All this time spent worrying over a dream. She felt like a child again. She pulled on a light robe and left her room. Her parents were asleep still – it was not even close to morning. All well-adjusted ellith were sleeping so that in the morning they would look refreshed and put-together. Vanwa supposed looking presentable was a lost cause at this point.

She pushed open the door leading to the balcony. It closed with a soft click behind her, and she made her way to the small bench nestled among her mother's numerous flowers and plants. She lay down on the bench, lacing her fingers behind her head and gazing up at the night sky. There had to be some way to rid herself of these dreams. She had been growing tired from so many nights where she slept poorly at best. Just yesterday, her mother had commented she looked more like a ghost than an elleth. Her mother had also made this remark in front of Hirion, who was picking up a dress for his mother and whose attention Vanwa had been hoping to catch. Her mother had a knack for dashing all of her hopes and dreams, it would seem, though her mother also thought Vanwa had too much of a taste for the dramatic and so had little regard for these fanciful "hopes and dreams".

Vanwa felt herself pouting and immediately trained her face to a more neutral expression. Mature ellith did not pout. They were dignified and patient and did not, as her mother put it, 'try to do too much living at once'. She couldn't help it though. Lately she felt like she was bursting at the seams with energy, with a need to explore all of Lorien and learn everything there was to know. She was filled with a pressing sense of urgency, a sense that time was running out. Odd, given her immortality, but undeniable given its persistence.

She fidgeted slightly and focused her attention on the stars twinkling above. She quickly found her favorites, and allowed their glow to soothe her. Vanwa felt herself began to slip into a tranquil reverie.

A sharp yank woke her immediately. The wind rushed at her face and she looked back to find herself being pulled away from the balcony at an alarming speed. Her pulse quickened and she began to panic when she noticed that her body lay unmoving, sprawled against the cold floor while she, her spirit, was pulled away. Faster and faster until she was high above the Golden Wood. The stars grew closer and the wind whipped at her dress. An unseen force drew her higher into the night sky. Her clothes were stripped away, leaving her naked and exposed, and still she was pulled higher. The light of the stars grew almost unbearable and encompassed her completely. She opened her eyes to a blindingly bright nothingness, and felt an uncomfortable heat lick at her skin.

The woman from her dreams appeared before her, now in a world she had never seen before. She was a child now, playing in a field. Vanwa blinked and found the woman grown, garbed in the strangest clothing and carrying ominous looking objects with her. She was injured, thrown from some flying sort of carriage.

The visions came faster now. Lothlorien, Imladris, places Vanwa had never seen, places that were not of this world. People she could not recognize but knew she was meant to. Fire everywhere and so many deaths. Face after face passed before her, and she knew that as each person passed from her sight, they passed from this life altogether. Surely she would run out of people she knew. The faces passed by more quickly now – she could barely recognize each one. These, she knew, were people whose deaths she'd caused. Their nameless forms stretched out into the distance, their faces blank.

Thunder cracked overhead and lightning streaked the sky. The wind rushed at her face and she was sucked forward, the ground passing beneath her in a dizzying rush. She halted abruptly and felt the air forced from her lungs as though she'd been hit in the chest. She'd never seen anything so horrifying, so inexplicably awful. The earth was burned. Her palms were wet with blood, the same dark blood that soaked the ground below her. Elves and men alike were strewn across a barren plain, their faces contorted in expressions pain. And the ellon she dreamed of. The ellon she so adored. He was there too. His cheek was smeared with blood, his armor dented and battered. He was on his knees, staring entreatingly at the black sky. Thunder rumbled overhead and heartwrenching cry erupted from his lips as he clutched her lifeless form. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She struggled to run to him.

"I'm sorry!" she cried. Vanwa fell to her knees. "I'm so sorry! I did not want this for us!"

Vanwa tangled her hands in her hair, and leaned forward, the weight of her grief nearly pulled her to the ground. She opened her eyes to the same blinding emptiness she'd seen before. Vanwa wrapped her arms around her waist, as though holding herself together. She shivered, more aware of her nakedness in the cold night air. He walked towards her now. He wore a white undertunic and loosely fitting white breeches. He was barefoot and his silver-blond hair was unbound. Her tears continued as he drew closer. She had caused him so much suffering. She shook her head and opened her mouth to apologize.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. He smiled kindly.

"I know."

"I didn't mean… I didn't want to-"

He cut her off.

"I know you didn't," he said. He held out his hand. "Come to me."

She hesitated and closed her eyes, allowing herself a moment to savor the sound of his voice. She reached out her hand.

"Come. Find me."

The wind rushed around her, lifting her long hair off the back of her neck.

"Come to me."

The wind grew louder, roaring in her ears. The same sucking sensation caused her to lurch backwards.

Vanwa opened her eyes and found herself staring into the sorrowful blue eyes of Lady Galadriel. The cold floor of the balcony pressed against her back and thighs, and she was sure a bruise was forming on the side of her forehead from when she fell off the bench. A cool breeze rustled the trees, and she knew from the chill she felt that she was sweating profusely. Her parents stood just behind where Galadriel knelt, her father protectively holding her mother. Their expressions were ones of fear and concern. Galadriel stroked Vanwa's hair fondly, an almost pitying look entering her eyes.

"At last, you have come of age," she said quietly, "and now you may find your true self, for you are a warrior reborn."

Vanwa lay trembling, trying to comprehend the magnitude of all that she had seen and been told. The wind picked up again, carrying with it a voice only she could hear.

_Come to me. Find me. I am waiting for you._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So maybe this is a sequel... I dont know. Here is another installment. Enjoy!

* * *

_She was so tired. Her muscles ached and she could barely keep a grip on the sword in her hand. She'd dropped her knives during the blast, and now regretted she'd chosen to fight with those first. The sword was so much heavier, and the mix of rain and blood made the hilt slippery. _

_She had long since lost sight of him and the rest of her companions. They'd been separated when the wall blew apart. She'd tried to stop it – she'd even tried to contain the blast to the best of her abilities. But when she felt the immense power well within her, so much so that she thought she might explode, she knew she had to release her hold or risk incinerating herself._

_She brought up her sword just in time to fend off another attack. The sky was black and the thick sheets of rain made it nearly impossible to visualize her attacker. She parried its blows, barely keeping up with the enormous creature before her. At last, she saw an opening and snaked her sword around his, stabbing through a weak point in its heavy armor. The Uruk-hai fell to its knees with a groan. She swiftly withdrew her sword and beheaded it._

_There was no time to pause to catch her breath. She'd hardly had a moment since the battle began! Chaos had erupted around her. They were no longer trying to defend the keep, now they were merely fighting to stay alive._

_"Am marad!" She paused upon hearing the command to pull back to the keep. She looked up to see one of her companions waving them back. The men and elves began to retreat to the helm, the archers covering them as they ran. _

_"Am marad!" _

_It was then that she saw him. His silver hair was slick against his face, and his silver armor was black with filth and blood. He shouted for a retreat, waving the rest of his warriors towards the helm. He did not retreat however. He turned and was confronted with yet another adversary. He was so tired, she could see it in his movements. She could almost feel fatigue radiating from him. She cried out when he dropped his sword and clutched his arm, grimacing in pain. Bright red blood slipped from between his fingers. She was so far away. She couldn't reach him in time to help. How was he to defend himself?_

_She was running now, trying to get to him in time. He glanced up towards the helm, seeing the others retreat and staggered forward. She saw the attacker behind him and tried to call out, but no sound came. He would not turn around. He was too tired, he didn't know the danger he was in! A scream ripped from her throat when the ax embedded itself in his back. Slowly, almost as though he was sinking through water, he fell to his knees._

_She reached him and pulled him into her arms, pleading with him, begging him to let her help. Thunder drowned out the sounds of war and she watched the light fade from his eyes._

Vanwa awoke sobbing this time. She shivered uncontrollably and was bathed in sweat. After all of this, he was no longer alive! She could almost feel the crushing blow that had taken his life. Her chest felt constricted and she struggled to breathe. They had taken him from her! All this time spent dreaming of the ellon she _knew_ in her heart was meant for her – and now to find he had been killed, and while she stood watch no less!

She continued crying as the Lady Galadriel pulled Vanwa into her embrace. Galadriel smoothed the young elleth's hair, holding her while she cried.

"He is gone," she managed through her tears. "I watched him die!"

"Be at peace, Vanwa," the lady crooned. "He-"

"How will I find him when he has been killed?" she cried. Galadriel waited until at last her tears subsided.

"He has not been killed. I know what you dreamed of. He survived."

Vanwa was silent for a time. She felt numb now. She knew her heart should be singing to hear such news, and yet she could barely process the words that had just been spoken to her. Moments ago she had been grieving for him as though they were lovers. The pain she felt still lingered, and the news that he had survived seemed so incompatible with what she had witnessed. No one could survive an attack like that. She was so confused now, and above all else, so exhausted.

"I cannot keep having dreams like this," she said at last. "It has been months now and they only grow worse!"

Galadriel sighed sadly, looking down at the young elleth. Dark circles had formed under eyes from so many nights of interrupted sleep. She has lost weight over the last few weeks, and her shoulders slumped with fatigue. It had been Galadriel's hope that by allowing Vanwa to move in to the spare room in her talan, she would be better able to assist the elleth and guide her through what would be undoubtedly a rocky transition. She was somewhat dismayed to find that over the past months, Vanwa's dreams had not subsided, but had rather increased in their frequency and intensity. This made Galadriel uneasy.

"They will be easier to manage with time," Galadriel said. "Do they still trouble you during the day?"

Vanwa nodded.

"Less frequently than before. Now it is only if I daydream for too long. The visions will sneak up on me." Vanwa looked down at her lap, idly plucking at the material of her nightgown. She was so weary and, to be frank, was growing a little tired of all her dreams of this stupid ellon and his stupid life with that stupid, infuriating woman. Vanwa had not asked for this. She did not wish to be 'reborn', or whatever this nonsense was about another returning from Mandos.

"Have you learned his name yet?" Galadriel asked. Vanwa shook her head.

"No. And I don't suppose you'll tell it to me either," she replied dejectedly. Galadriel gave her a knowing smile.

"No," the lady admitted. Vanwa pouted.

"I feel that I am so close. I am almost certain I have heard it in these dreams, and yet, I forget when I awaken. All the details seem to slip away. I have started to try to draw him," she said with a slight blush. "I had hoped it would organize my thoughts, but I can never remember his face well enough to make a sketch."

"You are too impatient," Galadriel said. "This will become clearer to you in time."

"Yes, I know _eventually_ it will be easier," Vanwa said with a sigh, "but I cannot wait that long. I am tired _now_ and I want answers _now. _ And surely you tire of me waking you so many nights in a row. You certainly cannot continue like this forever."

"No, but I have confidence in you, Vanwa. This is something you are perfectly capable of handling, even without my help."

Vanwa eyed Galadriel suspiciously.

"You say that as though you plan to leave." Vanwa felt her stomach roll when the lady paused and looked away.

"Yes, child. My time here grows short. I have lingered to help you as best I can, but the sea calls to me more strongly every day. There are others who feel its call more strongly than I and would leave but for me."

"Well, I would not keep you," Vanwa said quietly, her eyes downcast. "Not if this call you feel is so strong."

Galadriel smiled.

"I do not ask you to understand, Vanwa. A time will come when you too will leave this wood, and it may be sooner than you think," Galadriel replied, placing her hand over Vanwa's.

"How many others will go with you?" she asked.

"At least half of those who are here now," Galadriel replied.

"Half!" Vanwa exclaimed. "How will we protect ourselves?"

"The wardens that stay will be enough. You underestimate how the war affected our kind. There are many wardens who were crippled by it, physically and otherwise. Traveling to Valinor will be their only hope for some measure of peace."

Vanwa looked away, feeling selfish for thinking only of herself. She had heard of what had become of the warriors who had fought during the War of the Ring. She very rarely saw any of those who had returned however. It was well known that they kept to themselves in the outer reaches of the northern part of the city. Vanwa had been there only twice, once to deliver a message, and once to bring a tunic her mother had made for the others. Each time she had gone, she had felt overwhelming sadness that lingered for the following month. The pain that cloaked the talans seemed to be contagious. She couldn't imagine how anyone who lived there managed to heal, not when the air itself burdened anyone who inhaled with an aching sense of sorrow and anguish.

"Do not look so morose," Galadriel chided lightly. "You have managed thus far on your own, and I am confident that this change you are undergoing is a surmountable challenge."

"I hope so. Though I always dreamed of being something more when I was little, I admit I am starting to miss being ordinary," Vanwa said with a rueful smile. Galadriel smoothed Vanwa's hair.

"You were never ordinary, child."

* * *

Vanwa did not go to the gate the day Galadriel left. When she awoke, she could feel the sadness that hung thick in the air, and though she felt an almost irresistible urge to run to watch Galadriel, the wardens and their families leave, she did herself a favor and remained in her bed. Her mother had scolded her, telling her it was rude not to see off the elleth that had ruled and guided their people for so long, and though a part of Vanwa screamed at her to go, she dare not put herself through the anguish that would result from being so near to those who had been affected by the war.

This was another thing her parents could not understand. While the pain felt by the wardens and their families was tangible to all who lived in the Golden Wood, none were affected by it as acutely as Vanwa. The two times Vanwa had visited the northern reaches of the city, she returned morose and stayed that way for weeks after. Her parents had attributed this to Vanwa's slightly over-developed sense of the dramatic. Perhaps it was her way of attempting to understand that which she had not been alive to see.

Her father, Taurnil, was glad that his daughter did not wish to travel anywhere near the wounded soldiers. Often, she wished to accompany him when he went about his business through Lorien, but her reluctance to venture anywhere near the northern limits made it easier to visit his friends who had been so badly affected by the War. Chief among them was Lorien's March Warden, Haldir. Taurnil often kept his friend company, though Haldir had long since stopped speaking. To fill the silence, Taurnil told Haldir of his daughter, Vanwa, and how she was growing up much too fast. He talked about the changes taking place in the Golden Wood, and updated him on the progress that Orophin made as the new leader of the wardens (though he was sure Orophin did this himself).

He was sad to see Rumil and Orophin leave with the other wardens, but understood their need to accompany their brother. The two looked somewhat regretful, as they were not completely ready to leave Lothlorien. Their loyalty to Haldir was unwavering however, and both brothers could sense Haldir's need for a place that would alleviate some of the strain on his mind. Galadriel had explained the inner battle he fought each day – his grief, even 60 years later, ran strong and he was still at risk of fading and passing on to the Halls of Mandos.

"You will take care of him?" Taurnil asked. "And see that he improves?"

Rumil and Orophin smiled.

"Of course," Orophin replied. "We would see our brother whole again."

"Or at least functioning beyond the basics," Rumil added with a sigh. The two glanced back at Haldir, who stood by his horse, staring absently at malorn trees.

"He needs this," Taurnil remarked. "It is well you are going with him."

A signal from the front indicated that the procession was ready to leave. Those who were to remain behind had said their goodbyes, and those who would journey to the Gray Havens mounted their horses.

"Travel safely, wardens," said Taurnil. "May Valinor bring you some measure of peace."

* * *

As the weeks passed, Vanwa found that her dreams lessened in their severity and frequency. She found it almost strange, for as soon as the company of elves bound for Valinor left, her dreams ceased plaguing her almost immediately. Vanwa mulled over the idea of a possible correlation between the two - that her dreams were somehow linked to those who had left, but she could do no more than speculate. Who among them had the power to affect her dreams? None, she was sure, particularly since it was her understanding that these dreams were born of some higher influence – the will of the Valar, Galadriel had said.

It was a relief, really. At last should could sleep for more than a few hours at a time, and she no longer worried her parents by waking them with her cries in the middle of the night. It was also a comfort to be back in her home. While living with Galadriel had helped, for a time, she had always felt as though she was inconveniencing the lady, or somehow imposing. It also raised numerous questions from her friends, none of which Vanwa was inclined to answer. The departure of Galadriel and the wardens provided enough of a distraction that soon the questions Vanwa had once been besieged with were forgotten.

For the next month, Vanwa was able to pretend that nothing had happened. There were some days that she had convinced herself that she had made the whole thing up. This comforted her, because it removed much of the confusion she had felt over who she truly was. This 'warrior reborn' nonsense must have been some sort of joke, or perhaps a lie that had been told to comfort her and explain away her strange dreams. Whatever the explanation, she was glad to be rid of the visions.

* * *

"Vanwa," Gailrin called.

"Yes, mother?" Vanwa entered the kitchen where her mother was putting the finishing touches on a cake she had just made. She eyed it hungrily. It was a rarity that her mother ever made desserts, but when she did, they were always delicious.

"I was hoping you might deliver the basket on the table to Thelithil. Both of her brothers left with the Lady Galadriel for Valinor, and she has been having a hard time adjusting."

Vanwa walked to the table and lifted the cloth covering the basket's contents. The smell of freshly made muffins wafted out, and she could see that her mother had packed plenty of other treats for her friend.

"How come you never prepare anything like this for me?" she asked sullenly.

"It's unbecoming to pout," her mother chided, ignoring the question. "You know where Thelithil's talan is, yes?"

Vanwa nodded and picked up the basket. She was surprised by its weight.

"Really, naneth, you have packed it as though the poor elleth never eats!"

"Think of it as a way of building muscle," her mother said with a twinkle in her eye. "I can think of no better way to strengthen your arms for archery."

Vanwa made a face, as though to say 'very funny', and turned to leave. Her father had begun to teach her the basics of how to use a bow and arrow, but it was something she had neither the strength nor natural ability for. Though she practiced regularly, she had made little improvement over the past year.

Vanwa pulled one of the ribbons from the basket and used it to tie her unruly hair back. Since her coming of age over 100 years ago, her hair, which has once been pin-straight, had grown curly. It now formed loose ringlets that seemed to have a keen taste for rebellion. The summer humidity worsened the problem. At first, she had mourned the change and wished fervently her hair would return to being straight like that of the other ellith in Lorien. Now, she merely puzzled over it. No one she knew of had experienced such a change. She sighed and picked up the basket again.

"I won't be long," Vanwa called as she left. "And be sure ada does not eat all of the cake you made!"

The sound of her mother's laughter faded as Vanwa briskly walked down the steps. She felt bliss and contentment as the sounds of the forest filled her ears. The warm sunlight filtered through the leaves above, making the trees glow. The gentle hum of the forest filled her veins, and Vanwa could not help but feel alive with energy. She had always felt particularly attuned and connected to nature. It was as though each time she connected with the trees, it was for the first time.

Vanwa reached Thelithil's talan a half hour later. Though Caras Galadhon was not a large city in terms of its diameter, the trees were enormously tall, providing the city with an almost immeasurably level of complexity. Nature was always incorporated into the homes the elves made for themselves, as though they had grown from the trees. The result was a variety of flets and talans, some settled comfortably on the forest floor, and others nestled high in the canopy of the malorn trees.

Thelithil's talan was small and homely, and relatively low to the ground. The branches of the malorn tree had grown to support and accommodate her dwelling in such a way that over the years, the talan and tree had become almost indistinguishable. A discrete set of stairs spiraled down the massive trunk towards the forest floor.

Vanwa was disappointed to find that Thelithil was not home. It was likely that she had not returned from her duties in the kitchens. Vanwa opened the door to the elleth's talan – few in Lorien ever left their doors locked – and found parchment and ink to leave a brief note indicating who the basket was from. Vanwa left the note and the basket on the main table in Thelithil's talan and left, closing the door behind her.

She had meant to return immediately. Her mother would be expecting her for supper soon, and the trees glowed with the orange light of late afternoon. Something halted her progress however, and delayed her from returning to the higher reaches of Caras Galadhon.

She peered into the depths of the forest. Thelithil's talan lay on the edges of Caras Galadhon, and beyond her friend's home the number of other talans began to gradually taper off. The trees in the northern part of the forest were much less densely populated.

The forest here seemed darker, as though the light did not penetrate through the leaves as fully as it did in other parts of the main city. Vanwa headed north. Something compelled her to explore. Where was the harm? Surely she would not be punished for being late to supper.

The glowing city faded behind her. The talans here were fewer, yes, but they were also much higher in the trees. Winding staircases crawled up the trunks like vines, leading towards homes with darkened windows. The trees here were quiet and somber. Vanwa rested the palm of her hand against the trunk of one of the malorn trees. It responded to her with what one might have called surprise. At once she felt connected to this part of the forest. The trees were peaceful here, and yet filled with a kind of lonely sorrow Vanwa could not understand.

It was then that she realized she could no longer sense the presence of other elves around her. Vanwa turned and was astonished to see how far she had wandered from the main city. Its soft glow was visible to her only in the distance now. She thought to return, but found that she could not. Not yet at least. There was something she needed to find first.

She journeyed farther north. She would know it when she saw it. At last, Vanwa stood before a majestic looking tree that stood out from the others. Its trunk was much thicker than any of the others. Not even with five of her friends holding hands could Vanwa encircle it. In the canopy of the tree, an intricate talan had been built. It was graceful, almost proud looking, and yet simple and understated in its design. Numerous bridges made of rope and wood connected it to other talans farther away, all of which were equally as large, if not bigger. The trees were much more spread out this far from the city, and so more conventional bridges were no longer practical or even feasible – the narrow bridges of robe and beams were the only way to connect these homes.

Vanwa stared at the network of talans and bridges. A large family must have lived here, or perhaps many families seeking to stay together. It would explain the bridges connecting them. Like the other talans Vanwa had seen, the windows here were dark.

Her mother was expecting her back. She turned again to leave, but once more hesitated. Almost unknowingly, Vanwa began climbing the stairs towards one of the talans. Her fingertips grazed the trunk of the malorn, and it hummed at her touch. It seemed glad to see her again. Vanwa was puzzled by this sentiment however, as she was certain she had never been here before. And yet, the tree was familiar, and she knew the carvings on the wooden rail.

Abruptly she stopped. Her hand was on the door knob. She had been about to enter the talan when she realized where she now stood. These were the abandoned homes of the wardens who had left for Valinor! Vanwa shuddered and staggered away from the door. She looked around wide-eyed, now understanding why the trees felt so melancholy here and why all the windows were so dark.

She was astonished she had made it this far north without realizing where she was. And to think, she had nearly entered someone else's home! A stranger's home. It would not have mattered, of course. No one had lived in these homes for over 100 years now. Even still, Vanwa was shocked by her own behavior, and unnerved to find herself in such a sorrowful place.

Her mother chose not to ask questions when dusk had settled and her daughter burst through the door with flushed cheeks and frantic eyes. She spoke of it later with her husband, wondering what had made their daughter so distraught.

"The visions may have left her, Gailrin, but we both knew this tranquility would not last. She will realize her true self, even if the Valar themselves must descent from the heavens and drag her to it."

* * *

That night, Vanwa dreamt of the talan she had visited. It felt familiar and warm, and the curtains had been pulled back to let the light stream in.

_She opened the door wearily and set her sword by the door. Her arms ached from hours of practice. She closed her eyes and inhaled as the scent of fresh bread and stew reached her nose._

_"That smells wonderful," she remarked, closing the door behind her. She felt her heart skip when he appeared from the kitchen, an easy smile on his face._

_"I thought I would spare us the pleasure of your cooking tonight," he teased. He placed a quick kiss on her lips before returning to the kitchen, and Vanwa felt pleasure and contentment fill her._

_"When will it be ready?" she asked._

_"A few minutes. Might I suggest a bath in the meantime?" he said lightheartedly. She smiled at his playful attitude._

_"If you insist." _

_Vanwa made her way to the bedroom she knew they shared. She began removing her clothes, preparing to bathe. She paused, remembering her necklaces. She wore them so often that she sometimes forget she had them on, and she was unsure if the soapy water would cause them to deteriorate. She removed the first, a pendant, and set it on her dresser. While she would not say it was her favorite, as both were equally important to her, she liked its uniqueness, and she'd always had a soft spot for dragons. The second, a necklace made of blue and green beads, she held for a moment, running in through her fingers._

Vanwa awoke to find she was holding the necklace. She looked around and shrieked, covering her mouth with her hand. She stood in the bedroom, the one she had dreamed of. She was standing in his talan, the talan the ellon from her dream shared with the woman, and in her hand she was holding the woman's necklace.

Vanwa put the necklace on, and immediately felt a strange sense of connectedness. With what or who, she was unsure, but it was as though she was no longer alone in the talan. She shivered, feeling the presence of another around her. A breeze picked up, lifting the curtains as it came through the window. And above its soft whistling, Vanwa was sure she heard a voice.

_I wish you had not left me._

_

* * *

  
_

Haldir stared mournfully at the necklace in his hand. It was heavy, made of some kind of metal not found in middle Earth. She told him it was a blend of metals made through a technique not yet invented in middle Earth. He sighed and placed the necklace around his neck again, tucking it under his shirt.

Haldir regretted that he had allowed his grief to consume him for so long. It had prevented him from interacting with anyone until he had come to Valinor. It had made him careless as well. He was not himself when they left, and so his brothers had no way of knowing that he had left Fara's other necklace in the top drawer of the stand by his bed. Now it was too late, he had no way of finding it again.

He sighed, closing his eyes as another wave of pain came over him. He gritted his teeth, willing it away. So often he was besieged by sorrow that nearly consumed him fully. It was no longer constant, as it had been when he was in Lothlorien, but was still just as powerful each time it made its presence known.

He rested his head against the tree behind him, and stared up at the night sky. He touched his hand to the pendent and felt a sense of calm wash over him. Haldir closed his eyes and inhaled. It was as though she was standing next to him now. He could almost feel her. He opened his eyes, half expecting her to be in front of him. She was not, and he felt his heart clench at the reminder that she was gone.

"I wish you had not left me."


End file.
